“This is reporter Kelly Thompson for 1st World News and I am here at Amity Island on this beautiful 4th of July weekend. However, everything here isn’t all parades and fireworks. We have received word that there is something terrorizing this beach that rivals the great white shark from forty-two years ago.”
“Sir.” Kelly Thompson says as she grabs a harried looking man by the arm and pulls him in toward her. “Can you tell me about the menace that terrorizes this beach?”
“Yeah they’re everywhere!” He says.
“What’s everywhere?” Kelly says as her eyes dart around.
“The damn Seagulls!” The man proclaims. “I went to get a bucket of french fries and as I’m carrying it back to my family, a fry falls out.”
“They always fill those things up so high.” Kelly says sympathetically.
“Yeah and you can’t manage to get to sit down without dropping one. Unless you’re a trapeze artist or something.”
It gets worse.” The man says. “So, I’m going to my seat when out of nowhere, this white and gray blur zooms down in front of me, toward the fry. It startled me so bad that I dropped a few more. Before knew it, there were twenty seagulls screeching at my feet. I ran to my family with what little fries I had left. After the gulls had finished off what I had dropped, they continued to watch us eat the rest of ours. It was very disturbing.”
“How many fries would you say that you lost to these vicious predators?”
“Three or four by my guess.”
“If you think that’s bad, you should take a look over there.” The man said.
Kelly looked to where he was pointing and saw an empty popcorn cardboard tub lying sideways on the boardwalk. Beside it a little girl was on her knees crying.
“She dropped it.” The man continued. “Before she knew it, she was surrounded by a cloud of feathers and beaks. When it finally dissipated, there was nothing left.”
“Well there you have it.” Kelly Thompson said. “When it comes to 4th of July weekend, the poor town of Amity can’t catch a break. All we can hope is that they can make it through the weekend and rebuild after. This is Kelly Thompson of 1st World News, signing off.”