Man vs. Soup



She caught eyes with him and he motioned for her to come over. She had been looking at him on and off for the past few minutes trying to figure out where she had seen him before. She knew he’d looked familiar.

When she got to his table it finally clicked.

“You’re Bear Grylls aren’t you?” She asked. “Star of Man vs Wild?”

“Well, I actually have this new show ‘Running Wild’ where I take celebrities out into the wilderness with me.” He said. “But yes I am Bear Grylls. Do you want an autograph or something?”

“Sure.” She said. She pulled the waitress’s notepad out of her apron. Silently kicking herself for not having anything better for him to sign.

“Are you a fan of Man vs. Wild?” He asked as he scribbled he name across the note pad.

“Oh yes.” The waitress said. “Well, my fiancé is. He watches it all the time. To be honest, I get grossed out from a lot of it. Did you really drink your own pee?”

She felt a bit silly once the words left her lips. What a stupid question to ask.

“Oh yeah. I did.” He responded cheerfully. “I always wanted Man vs. Wild to give people the tools to survive. If they were ever caught out in a dry arid climate like a desert, then drinking your own urine might just save your life.” He stopped and snickered. “It’s funny the things you get remembered for.”

“I just don’t know if I could do it.” The waitress said. “You know, like, the mental block.”

“Sure,” Bear said. “but I think you’d surprise yourself. In North Africa I had to eat a scorpion. Now you have to make sure that you cut the tail off.”

“I remember that one.” The waitress said. “You found an Octopus hiding out in a wrecked ship that you had to eat raw.” She winced as she remembered. “I had to leave the room when you started gagging.”

“Yeah.” Bear said as a looked outward wistfully. “That was a tough one. The little suckers from the tentacle were sticking to my throat. I would swallow and it was still clinging there like some big slimy noodle.”

The waitress gagged.

“Depending on where you are stranded, there might not be an option to cook what you find. Sometimes you have to eat it raw.”

“I guess those mashed up bugs you ate later in the episode were like gourmet dining compared to the octopus.” The waitress said.

“Ah the bug burger.” Bear said. “Not exactly. They did go down much easier once I got them past my taste buds.”

“It was fun though.” Bear said after a moment of silence. “Man vs. Wild. And It sounds like you’ve seen enough of the show. Hopefully you’re never in a situation where you would have to survive like that but if you are, I would be happy to know that it had helped you.”

The waitress smiled and thanked Bear for his autograph as she turned to leave him to eat the rest of his meal in piece.

“Oh,” She heard him called from behind her. “I almost forgot why I called you over here in the first place.”

The waitress turned back around.

Bear was pointing down at his bowl.

“There’s a fly in my soup.”

“Ew,” The waitress said. “That’s disgusting. Let me get you a new one.”


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